Oct 29, 2021
Still looking for that right match?
Someone who truly understands you?
A person who makes you feel seen, heard, held, and validated?
Someone to share the worries of the world with, that will also make you feel like a rockstar in bed?
When searching for this, you are likely to come upon predatory women.
It’s hard to notice the signs of predatory women.
The more experience she has, the harder it will be to recognize her deceitful ways.
You don’t want to be used for your money, yet oftentimes you might boast in ways that encourage women to think less about who you are, and more about what you can do for them.
A woman who previously wasn’t very attracted to you can suddenly gain interest when she realizes you have the potential to become her new pay pig.
She won’t blatantly say she wants you to be her new ATM and plans to attach her emotional hose to you, but she MIGHT do some of these things.
She may not find you physically attractive enough to have sex with, but she still plans to get material things from you, so she might go the route of talking about her past sexual traumas as a way of convincing you to wait. Oftentimes these stories are true… but sometimes predatory women will exaggerate a story to repress your sexual desires. She might even create a make-believe story so traumatic you’re scared to touch her. If you have morals and decency you will wait because you don’t want to violate another person’s boundaries. The issue is these predatory women will scare you away from encouraging your sexual desires so that they can get material goods from you, but never want to have sex with you. The worst part is they will never admit this to themselves and they will always find a way to justify stringing you along.
She might talk about her past relationships consistently and even compare you to her exes. She might talk about all the things her ex did or didn’t do. She might mention how much “better” you are than her ex. She might say things along the lines of…“my ex-husband didn’t satisfy me sexually like you do” or “treated me as well as you”. These are the red flags of a codependent predatory person. RUN. It feels good to be validated and told we are better than others, but a healthy person does not compare human beings to one another. Healthy people simply accept or reject others as they are. Dysfunctional people compare.
She might not live a very fulfilling life on her own. She sees that your life is quite a bit more fulfilling than hers so she will attempt to attach herself to your life in hopes to gain some sense of fulfillment for herself.
She might not enjoy being held accountable for her faults.
She might gaslight you and make you believe that all her immoral behavior is your fault, typically because she believes you weren’t giving her enough of the attention she craved.
She won’t even be able to comprehend the idea that something is HER fault if she has never accepted the responsibility of holding herself accountable.
She has likely always looked for a relationship to be her source of self-worth.
She might give you a taste of her love to draw you in. She will probably do this for a while before she asks for anything material. She will slowly search for clues as to how much money you make before she attempts to ask for anything. When she has given you enough time to get comfortable basking in her love for free, she might start testing you in these ways…
She’ll see how expensive of a restaurant she can convince you to take her to.
She will drop hints about certain material items she has her eye on to see if you’ll take the bait and get it for her.
She might ask you to get her something and judge if you got her a cheaper version or one that is more pricey.
She may ask you to sponsor her business idea, or make her car or rent payments.
The minute you say no, she walks away. Oftentimes, nice guys will run back to these kinds of women and give her everything she desires because it seemed like her love wasn’t superficial. That’s because she knew better than to ask for anything materialistic during the grooming stages of her predatory process. She has to hook you first or her whole plan would crumble to pieces.
She might lack a sense of purpose and may even want a child to fulfill her. If this is the case, she will actively encourage having a child. She may mention pressure from her family or talk about all the ways the government helps parents financially. Let’s imagine you agree to this. She might feel financially secure enough with you to have your child then realize all she wanted was the kid, not you, and then leave you with child support, a custody battle, trust issues, and a fractured heart.
The most dangerous predatory women are the ones who are so insanely in tune with the way a man’s mind works that all of these go unnoticeably past them.
Men attract these predatory women because they want to feel validated by her and by society for having a woman in their lives.
You might feel less than whole without a significant other, believing that your worth comes from the quality of partner you choose to have in your life. This typically leaves you always looking for the next best thing while stringing someone along until you find something you deem better.
BEING SINGLE IS POWERFUL.
After a traumatic break-up, you don’t need to jump on to the next date. Rebounds are great when they work and messy when they don’t. Rebounds can lead to a greater intensification of painful aloneness. They drive a wedge where the wound hasn’t yet healed. It’s okay to enjoy your independence for a while and be in tune with yourself. When was the last time you put yourself before someone else?
When you are truly ready to go out to public events, parties, restaurants, and social gatherings, being alone is empowering. When we are alone we have a greater urge to connect with strangers whom we typically would not be interested in. We connect without the guilt of offending a partner. People will be drawn to you and have a greater urge to connect with someone who seems empowered and comfortable in their own skin. It is much more intimidating going up to a couple or a group of friends than approaching someone who is alone.
When we embrace our freedom and independence we attract high-quality individuals.
When we seek validation externally we are more likely to attract predatory people. People who don’t love us for who we are, but for what we can do for them.
The only way to be in a healthy relationship is to be content with yourself when you are single because then you won’t approach relationships from a place of neediness, but from a place of strength.
In Part Two of this discussion on passion, we will continue our conversation on how to build a meaningful life. A life defined by purpose and a path to have a clear understanding of our responsibilities. How to cultivate passion in our lives that become the driving force for positive change in our ...
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