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Community standards

The Integrated Men Community

Chances are you have come here from the Meetup page. This page is about the standards we observe at the Integrated Men community. Our group takes its core principles from the works of Dr. Robert Glover the leading authority on the subject. We welcome men from all walks of life and provide a safe space for men to start learning to be their authentic selves and overcome toxic shame. Having read the book is not important to join the group, but if the description below chimes with you, and you wish to make necessary life changes, join our group.

If are not familiar with the above-mentioned body of work I would recommend starting with the free audiobook from audible and get familiar with the core concepts discussed in our group meetings.

Nice Guys have been conditioned to believe that if they are “good” and do everything “right”, they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a smooth life. Sound too good to be true? It is. This belief is a myth, which only
leaves Nice Guys feeling frustrated, lonely, and powerless.

An integrated male takes responsibility for getting his own needs met.

Dr. Robert Glover

This group is about taking Full Responsibility for our lives instead of blaming others for our life situations. Time and again people fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others’ lives and situations. The goal is to forge our own lives based on our own set of values and purpose, and in doing so build a true and unique identity.

There is nothing wrong with being nice. But the Nice Guy does it to seek approval and avoid rejection. He’s a people-pleaser. He constantly sets his own needs and wants aside, and pretends to be something he’s not, in order to make other people happy. Suppressing his authenticity does not work for long. The Nice Guy eventually blows up in a rage, passive-aggressive behavior, or compulsive sexual acting out. Nice Guys do not feel that it’s safe to be exactly who they are and therefore are secretive, manipulative, and very unhappy.

We are a group of men who want to start taking control of ourselves and our lives. We have seen that we cannot do it alone. The group aims to provide a safe space for men to have difficult conversations without fear of judgment.

We pledge to help, support, and encourage one another in our journey to become Integrated Males. We strive to:

  • Stop seeking the approval of others.
  • Learn effective ways to get our needs met.
  • Feel more powerful and confident.
  • Create the kind of intimate relationships we really want.
  • Learn to express our feelings and emotions.
  • Have a fulfilling and exciting sex life.
  • Embrace our masculinity and have meaningful relationships with other men.
  • Live up to our potential and become truly creative and productive.
  • Accept ourselves just as we are.
  • Live with total integrity.

If these are the things you want in your life and aspire for, please join us!

Age Requirements

Any adult male is welcome, regardless of relationship status, position in life, religious beliefs, or sexual orientation. We strive to make our meetings safe for all. To attend our Tuesday night meetings you do need to be 21 and over. This is a limitation of the location that we hold our meetings, but if you are 20 or younger and would like to learn more, you can still join our online community. Email me using the contact form.

Our support/discussion group meetings are held every Tuesday and last about 2 hours. We also do plenty of other manly activities to give you a chance to bond with our group of safe men.

Even though we take the principal themes for our meetings from the book No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Dr. Robert Glover, we also use other inspirational books and materials to enhance our discussions. Join us and start getting what you want in life, love, and relationships!

Membership Requirements

We advocate authenticity, and this is the first and important step towards it. Please follow these guidelines to ensure that your request for membership is approved swiftly.

As part of the membership process we require that all members meet the following requirements:

  • Have an appropriate Meetup profile picture.
  • Provide required information in the registration or application form.
  • Pay the Membership fee.

Community Values and Guidelines

The No More Mr. Nice Guy – Salt Lake City is a support community for people who wish to follow their path of recovery to being integrated men. We follow the path set out in the teaching of Dr. Robert Glover laid out in his book, his podcasts and his associated body of work.

We adhere to the following values.

  • Respect for the rights, differences, and dignity of others
  • Respect confidentiality
  • Honesty and integrity in dealing with all members of the community
  • Accountability for personal behavior
  • Live an authentic life
  • Pursuit of vulnerability through sharing of personal experiences
  • Being fully present
  • Discover your personal passion
  • Accept that everyone is on their own journey
  • Support others as they pursue an authentic life
  • Respect women, and it goes without saying respect everyone. (See more in the DEI Statement below)
  • Be an example to children
  • Honor your commitments
  • Strive to build a community spirit
  • Know our responsibilities to ourselves and to the community

Diversity, Equality and Inclusion Statement

While Integrated Men works primarily with men, we consciously embrace diversity and equality. The men in our coaching community come from a range of backgrounds. We are committed to building community among men from various backgrounds, skills, and views. The more inclusive we are, the better our work will be.

Creating a culture of Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion is the only way we know we can get past the divisions and foster Belonging.
We challenge the community members to live by their own values and ask them to open themselves up to the reality that with 8 billion people, there are 8 billion possibilities for most aspects of life.
We see diversity as abundance are grateful for that. We live by the philosophy that all human being created are equal and do not discriminate against people’s preferences for their lifestyle.

Community requirements

Code of Ethics

This is not a business networking community, though if someone is aware of your specialized skills and would like to hire you allow members to reach out to you. Actively seeking out business opportunities is not acceptable behavior as part of the community as it opens up the group to an abuse of trust.

Things to be mindful of

Members shall refrain from pursuing other members for the sole purpose of personal gain or personal agenda.

Members should refrain from manipulating members of the community or manipulating non-members for personal gain.

Members attend the meetings for the sole purpose of improving their own lives and taking full responsibility of their actions.

Members will maintain the integrity of the group and will not share the meeting link or invite other non-members to the group meetings (in-person or via zoom). Any violation of this boundary will lead to the member losing their membership benefits. No refunds will be given if found violating the community guidelines.

Members will not promote or attend meetings for their own agenda other than self-improvement. If you have a problem with the concepts laid in No More Mr. Nice Guy or Dr. Robert Glover’s works, this is not the right place for you as we continuously talk about his extensive body of work. We don’t expect you to agree with everything everyone says, but we do agree upon the core principles laid out in the book.

Members found in violation of the community values will be informed of their actions.

Members found in repeated violation of the community values will be asked to leave the group.

By choosing to attend the meetings, I agree to abide by the community values and guidelines.

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If you are ready to take charge of your life and make the changes that help you build a great life, we welcome you to join us now.