People lack boundaries because they have a high level of neediness, and we talk about the concept of codependency in one of our discussions. People who are needy or codependent have a desperate need for external validation. To receive this love and affection, they sacrifice their identity and remove their boundaries.
Boundaries in relationships work both ways: they create emotional health and are created by people with emotional health. They are something you can start working on today with the people close to you and you’ll begin to notice a difference in your self-esteem, confidence, emotional stability, and so on.
Boundaries are the personal position we take regarding what we will allow into our sphere of influence and what we will not, and to what degree we will allow it.
It is easy to tell others to have boundaries and self-respect, but when feelings, emotions, and sexual attraction intertwine, boundaries tend to go out the window with the rest of our self-respect.
Most of us grow up having no clue what personal boundaries are much less how to set and maintain them.
Having a lack of boundaries creates a dynamic where anxiety fuels us and makes itself known in every one of our interactions.
Most nice guys fear setting boundaries because not only does it feel unnatural, we often don’t even realize it can be done.
And usually, we’re sure somebody will react negatively if we set a boundary of any kind.
But if we’re conscious, if we’re in our higher loving self, we can actually set boundaries with love and integrity.
And the more conscious we are, the more elegant and inviting our boundaries will be.
Setting boundaries can be loving and boundaries can create a greater depth of connection.
Boundaries actually make it possible for people to get closer to each other.
Intimacy is not possible without boundaries.
Join us this week at Integrated Men where we will be discussing boundaries.
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