The Integrated Men Community

This page is about the standards we observe at the Integrated Men’s community.  We welcome men from all walks of life and provide a safe space for men to start learning to be their authentic selves and overcome toxic shame. “Nice Guys” have been conditioned to believe that if they are “good” and do everything “right”, they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a smooth life. Sounds too good to be true? It is. This belief is a myth, which only
leaves Nice Guys feeling frustrated, lonely, and powerless.

Dr. Robert Glover

This group is about taking Full Responsibility for our lives instead of blaming others for our life situations. Time and again, people fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others’ lives and situations. The goal is to forge our own lives based on our own set of values and purpose, and in doing so, build a true and unique identity.

There is nothing wrong with being nice. But the Nice Guy does it to seek approval and avoid rejection. He’s a people pleaser. He constantly sets his own needs and wants aside and pretends to be something he’s not in order to make other people happy. Suppressing his authenticity does not work for long. The Nice Guy eventually blows up in a rage, passive-aggressive behavior, or compulsive sexual acting out. Nice Guys do not feel that it’s safe to be exactly who they are and therefore are secretive, manipulative, and very unhappy.

We are a group of men who want to start taking control of ourselves and our lives. We have seen that we cannot do it alone. The group aims to provide a safe space for men to have difficult conversations without fear of judgment.

We pledge to help, support, and encourage one another in our journey to become Integrated Men. We strive to:

• Stop seeking the approval of others.
• Learn effective ways to get our needs met.
• Feel more powerful and confident.
• Create the kind of intimate relationships we really want.
• Learn to express our feelings and emotions.
• Have a fulfilling and exciting sex life.
• Embrace our masculinity and have meaningful relationships with other men.
• Live up to our potential and become truly creative and productive.
• Accept ourselves just as we are.
• Live with total integrity.

If these are the things you want in your life and aspire for, please join us!

Membership Requirements

Any adult male is welcome, regardless of relationship status, position in life, religious beliefs, or sexual orientation. We strive to make our meetings safe for all. We advocate authenticity, and this is the first and important step towards it. Please follow these guidelines to ensure that your request for membership is approved swiftly.

Community Values and Guidelines

This support community is for people who wish to follow their path of recovery to become integrated men.

We adhere to the following values.

• Respect for the rights, differences, and dignity of others
• Respect confidentiality
• Honesty and integrity in dealing with all members of the community
• Accountability for personal behavior
• Live an authentic life
• Pursuit of vulnerability through the sharing of personal experiences
• Being fully present
• Discover your personal passion
• Accept that everyone is on their own journey
• Support others as they pursue an authentic life
• Respect women, and it goes without saying, respect everyone. (See more in the DEI Statement below)
• Be an example to children
• Honor your commitments
• Strive to build a community spirit
• Know our responsibilities to ourselves and to the community

Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion Statement

While Integrated Men works primarily with men, we consciously embrace diversity and equality. The men in our coaching community come from a range of backgrounds. We are committed to building community among men from various backgrounds, skills, and views. The more inclusive we are, the better our work will be.

Creating a culture of Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion is the only way we know we can get past the divisions and foster belonging.
We challenge the community members to live by their own values and ask them to open themselves up to the reality that with 8 billion people, there are 8 billion possibilities for most aspects of life.
We see diversity as abundance, and we are grateful for that. We believe that all human beings are created equal and do not discriminate against people’s lifestyle preferences.

Code of Ethics

This is not a business networking community, though if someone is aware of your specialized skills and would like to hire you, allow members to reach out to you. Actively seeking out business opportunities is not acceptable behavior as part of the community, as it opens up the group to an abuse of trust.

Things to be mindful of

Members shall refrain from pursuing other members for the sole purpose of personal gain or personal agenda.

Members should refrain from manipulating members of the community or manipulating non-members for personal gain.

Members attend the meetings for the sole purpose of improving their own lives and taking full responsibility for their actions.

Members will maintain the integrity of the group and will not share the meeting link or invite other non-members to the group meetings (in-person or via Zoom). Any violation of this boundary will lead to the member losing their membership benefits. No refunds will be given if it is found that the user is violating the community guidelines.

Members will not promote or attend meetings for their own agenda other than self-improvement.

Members found in violation of the community values will be informed of their actions.

Members found in repeated violation of the community values will be asked to leave the group.

By choosing to attend the meetings, I agree to abide by the community values and guidelines.

Sign Up Now

If you are ready to take charge of your life and make the changes that help you build a great life, we welcome you to join us now.