We are frequently told to let go of our fear of intimacy, but no one ever tells us why we’re so afraid of intimacy.
It’s not as if we’re devoiding human affection from our lives intentionally.
We do it subconsciously as a survival mechanism due to our lack of boundaries.
Boundaries are the personal position we take regarding what we will allow into our sphere of influence and what we will not, and to what degree we will allow it.
It is easy to tell others to have boundaries and self-respect, but when feelings, emotions, and sexual attraction intertwine, boundaries tend to go out the window with the rest of our self-respect.
Most of us grow up having no clue what personal boundaries are much less how to set and maintain them.
Having a lack of boundaries creates a dynamic where anxiety fuels us and makes itself known in every one of our interactions.
Most nice guys fear setting boundaries because not only does it feel unnatural, we often don’t even realize it can be done.
And usually, we’re sure somebody will react negatively if we set a boundary of any kind.
But if we’re conscious, if we’re in our higher loving self, we can actually set boundaries with love and integrity.
And the more conscious we are, the more elegant and inviting our boundaries will be.
Setting boundaries can be loving and boundaries can create a greater depth of connection.
Boundaries actually make it possible for people to get closer to each other.
Intimacy is not possible without boundaries.
Join us this week at Integrated Men where we will be discussing boundaries.
You won’t want to miss this one, see you there!
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